For
me, getting together with my cousins is better than drinking champagne. There is something about looking
into their eyes, seeing those smiles and hearing their voices that energizes
me. This year, I finally
made the commitment to host a party with my family.
I
know that I wrote about family parties in Lies That Bind and the family members
sniped at each other and formed cliques.
We didn’t have that type of party.
I seldom see a group of people who interact with as much love and
respect as my cousins. I love to
watch them sharing their stories and retelling the old family stories. I can almost see bonds forming, wisdom
being passed and family members finding solid ground.
The
magic of a family that treats each other with love and respect seemed to
permeate even into our pets. For
Saturday dinner we had fifty-eight people and eight dogs present. The pack of dogs occasionally wandered
through the crowd of people, but mostly they went off and played doggie games
with each other. They never got
rowdy or growly with each other.
They were just a joy to watch as they explored my acre of gardens or
followed the preschoolers.
The
preschoolers were another delight.
Our family is at the stage where another generation is having
babies. We had two tiny babies and
three children who were three. The
three year olds started with sharing a few toys and running some trucks around
then they discovered the fountain and my child sized pails for holding cut
flowers. The children industriously watered all the weeds in my
garden. When it was time for my
niece to take her son home, he’d gotten totally in to the cousin thing and
spontaneously hugged his three year-old, fourth cousin goodbye. Those two caught the magic.
It
all sounds idyllic to talk about a family dedicated to loving each other. I admit that I got hundreds of
heartfelt hugs of gratitude for hosting the party. We laughed a great deal. From the outside it may appear that we don’t have
problems. It may look as if we all
grew up in amazing, stable, loving homes.
No. Most of us have had
cancer—many of us have had it more than once. I am officially classed as disabled as are some of the
others. Not all of us had two
parents who knew how to parent.
Some of the cousins who came had a rough childhood. Still each person came to the party and
gave and received love. How is it
that we can get together and share such love that even the tiny children and
dogs treat each other amiably and share the opportunity to explore the world
together?
I
think the answer to that question lies in the decisions we make. I could decide to recline on my sofa
and whine about being tired or in pain, or I could get up and do something that
makes me feel better. I can decide
to discipline myself to rest when my body needs to rest. Most of all I can decide to love and be
happy. As I talked to my cousins,
I understood that they have made the same decision. We need to decide to treat each other with respect. People must make a decision to love. Yes, we’ve all been sick or
disappointed, but have made the decision to be happy, love and find new life
adventures.